Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

The Wisdom of Batman

From the Batman TV show  in 1966, some words to live by:

General Wisdom:

Batman: “An older head can’t be put on younger shoulders.”

Batman: “That’s one trouble with dual identities, Robin. Dual responsibilities.”

Health:

Robin: “Gosh, Batman, this camel grass juice is great.”
Batman: “Beware of strong stimulants, Robin.”

Robin: “Holy molars! Am I ever glad I take good care of my teeth!”
Batman: “True. You owe your life to dental hygiene.”

Education:

Dick: “Awww, heck! What’s the use of learning French anyway?”
Bruce: “Dick, I’m surprised at you! Language is the key to world peace. If we all spoke each other’s tongues, perhaps the scourge of war would be ended forever.”

Batman: “The green button will turn the car a la escarda o a la drecia.”
Robin: “To the left or right. Threw in a little Spanish on me, huh, Batman?”
Batman: “One should always keep abreast of foreign tongues, Robin.”

Dick: “Wow! The rings of Saturn! This is sure some fun, Bruce.”
Bruce: “Astronomy is more than mere fun, Dick.”
Dick: “It is?”
Bruce: “Yes, it helps give us a sense of proportion. Reminds us how little we are, really. People tend to forget that sometimes.”

Dick : “What’s so important about Chopin?”
Bruce : “All music is important, Dick. It’s the universal language. One of our best hopes for the eventual realization of the brotherhood of man.”

Dick: “Sorry, I’m not interested in dance lessons.”
Bruce: “Wait a minute, Dick. The junior prom’s coming up, isn’t it?”
Dick: “Yes, but…”
Bruce: “Well, we don’t want you to be a wallflower, do we? Dancing is an integral part of every young man’s education.”

Robin: “You can’t get away from Batman that easy!”
Batman: “Easily.”
Robin: “Easily.”
Batman: “Good grammar is essential, Robin.”

Women:

Robin: “I guess you can never trust a woman.”
Batman: “You’ve made a hasty generalization, Robin. It’s a bad habit to get into.”

Batman to Robin: “When you get a little older, you’ll see how easy it is to become lured by the female of the species.”

Politics:

Batman: “Better put 5 cents in the meter.”
Robin: “No policeman’s going to give the Batmobile a ticket.”
Batman: “This money goes to building better roads. We all must do our part.”

Dick: “Gosh, Economics is sure a dull subject.”
Bruce: “Oh, you must be jesting, Dick. Economics dull? The glamour, the romance of commerce… Hmm. It’s the very lifeblood of our country’s society

Robin: “Gosh, there could be diplomatic repercussions if we fail this time, Batman.”
Batman: “That’s not the point, Robin. What’s important is that the world know that all visitors to these teeming shores are safe, be they peasant or king.”
Robin: “Gee, Batman, I never thought of that. You’re right.”
Batman: “It’s the very essence of our democracy.”

Batman: “Nobody wants war.”
Robin: “Gee, Batman. Belgravia’s such a small country. We’d beat them in a few hours.”
Batman: “Yes, and then we’d have to support them for years.”
Who knew Batman was so full of wisdom?

(source http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/search/author/garden-of-eden)

Let’s judge a book by it’s cover.

You know the old saying “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover” words of wisdom that we’ve all ignored at one time or another. And not just with books, right? It’s a great metaphor and it often makes sense, yet I find myself making decisions on “the cover” of things from wine labels to situations.

It appears that Minnesota has found itself in a bit of a “judge a book by it’s cover” situation over a recent appearance by acclaimed author Neil Gaimon over an appearance in Stillwater for Money for Club Book which was paid for by Legacy funds.

Strib reports

Librarians defend use of Legacy funds to inaugurate Club Book series with bestseller Neil Gaiman. The metro-wide program was started to expose suburbia to authors of national acclaim… Fantasy and science fiction writer Neil Gaiman’s speaking fee of $45,000 for a recent four-hour appearance in the metrowide Club Book series has some tongues in the library community wagging in astonishment.

Let’s start with the Legacy Fund, it has been a classic case of judging a book by it’s cover since day 1. Everytime a news article comes up about the Legacy funding being used there is at least a minor kerfuffle. Public money is like that, even when we agree we want money spent we often disagree on how or when it should be spent.

When it comes to the Legacy Fund most of it’s supporters and many of it’s detractors had preconceptions on how the money should be spent.

Now with the Gaimon situation it seems the issue isn’t that money is being spent on a literature series, but rather the amount of money spent on one author with Gaimon’s appearance taking up nearly a third of the fund for the Money for Club Book series.

Personally I understand that some authors will cost more than others and they’ll also have a much bigger draw, but in this situation I have seen estimates of 500 people attending. At $45,000 for the event, that means the fund paid $90 a ticket for the pleasure of Mr.Gaimon’s lecture.

I was going to attend, but I had plans that day. Were you there? If so, what did you think? Either way, let’s judge a book by it’s cover.

I am leaning towards the side of “it’s no big deal”, kudos the the library system for bringing in Mr.Gaimon and kudos to Mr.Gaimon for getting a big pay day. It’s a tough literary world out there and big paydays are a rarity for authors.

Now I’ve read reople generally speak at 150 words per minute and there are 60 minutes in an hour which makes 9,000 words per hour or 36,000 words per the four hour commitment. That’s about 1.25 per word Mr.Gaimon was paid.
Does that mean if he spoke in all 50 cent words he would have been over payed by 75 cents a word?

Just kidding, Neil. Love ya’ man.

Readers decide.
[poll=24]

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A Friday Caption Contest

How about a little poking fun at our government to lighten up your Friday?

GOP stooge and general smart aleck @Kwatt tipped me off to a picture in this post, Pawlenty, teachers at odds over funds.


Original Image courtesy of AreaVoices CapitolChat

So many possibilities.

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Miss Me Yet? A redux.

VIA BigBoxCar

You know we kid because we love you @Newscut

Talking Minnesotan – 03-05-2010

Everyone in Minnesota is talking about the giant snow storm on it’s way. It’s going to be HUGE!! Think 1991 times ten, hundreds of inches will fall over the course of a few days, power will be lost, snow shoed rioters will rule, the National Guard will have to intercede, cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria.

Now if you check with your local radar or weather person they won’t mention it, but this storm is on the way. How do we know? Minneapolis has lifted it’s parking restrictions

So you had better live it up before this white blanket of destruction descends upon our fine state.

How about checking out tonight’s Steve Marsh joint with Ross Brockley? Steve Marsh presents Ross Brockley and Bight Club

Steve Marsh presents comedian filmaker goat and llama farmer Ross Brockley at Nick and Eddie this Friday night. Ross has opened for Louis CK and emerged from the same NY alt comedy scene as Janeane Garafalo, David Cross and Louis CK-he will be on the kqrs morning show friday morn.
Opening for Ross is Bight Club a g-funk and R&B hip hop duo who will be appearing at sxsw this year.
N and E’s first scheduled and intentional comedy night
I trust Steve Marsh and so should you

I’m not sure why Steve wrote “I trust Steve Marsh and so should you”, but it’s a little weird.

Speaking of events.

Queen of Subtle has all of your local trivia needs covered I had no idea there were so many trivia venues.

David Brauer takes on the topic of radio station payments for music As stations bombard us with ads against the ‘radio tax,’ here’s the other side of the story

and naturally people have a thing or two to say (check the comments)

Which then spurs this follow up post A rebuttal to the ‘radio tax’ rebuttal

Look at the bright side.
It’s time for the City of Saint Paul’s Sidewalk Poetry contest! I’m tempted to enter again, but my excellent first snow haiku didn’t win and perhaps my poetic skills would increase if I were to brood for a couple more years.

Want to check out some cool music? Hit up the Are You Local? Vita.mn SXSW Send-off

Here are the set time

SET TIMES

In the Entry:

6 p.m. Hunting Club

7 p.m. Bight Club

8 p.m. Joey Ryan & The Inks

9 p.m. The Moon Goons
In the Mainroom:
5:30 p.m. City on the Make

6:15 p.m. Romantica

7 p.m. The Pines

7:45 p.m. Jeremy Messersmith

8:30 p.m. Peter Wolf Crier

9:15 p.m. “Are You Local?” contest winner

9:45 p.m. Lookbook

That said let’s close this out with a little bit of the Lookbook
Thanks to TwinCitizen
Lookbook – Yesterday’s Company & The Only Ones
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBK8BgjjKEU[/youtube]
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On the lighter side

The Onion sure loves to make fun of Minnesota. I guess as a state we have it coming, we do tend to elect some monsters characters.

check out the video,

New Law Would Ban Marriages Between People Who Don’t Love Each Other
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVeGUSGkhfw[/youtube]

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