Death of a Salesman?

Everyone knows the story of Willy Loman that’s been characterized time and time again, from Glengarry Glen Ross to the Simpson’s poor old Gil.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YghqNhMhnnc[/youtube]

Have you ever been bothered by door-to-door sales people that refuse to take no for an answer?

Local columnist James Shiffer has the answer in “How I made a door-to-door alarm salesman vanish. What do you do?

Is this your home?” he asked.

“Yes,” I answered, antennae twitching. I noticed his gray tennis shirt had a corporate logo on it, and that he held a binder in his hands.

“How long have you lived here?”

“Who are you?” I said. I’m sure he could almost taste the hostility in the air, but he kept smiling. He said he was selling alarm systems for Pinnacle Security and that in this neighborhood –

“I cut him off. “Do you have a city solicitor license?”

Mr. Pinnacle Security, who still hadn’t told me his name, opened his binder and out came the scripted response, “Yes, I know that the city of Minneapolis requires a license for soliciting, just like many cities…” He flipped through his binder, “Okay here’s the one for Blaine.” He flipped back and forth a few times. “It must have slipped out,” he said, his grin never waning.

“You know, it’s illegal to go door-to-door in Minneapolis without a solicitor’s license,” I said. “I could call the cops on you right now.”

“But I’m in a good mood,” I lied.

“I’ll make sure I get the license before I do any more soliciting,” he lied.

I’ve been tempted to put up one of those “No Soliciting” signs, but everytime I get close to buying one I decide that they are too ugly. Although I’m sure it was kind of funny for my neighbors to watch a “home security” sales person, that had walked into my yard uninvited, be slowly backed out by two large dobermans as I rushed to stop the chaos; it’s not the kind of humor I want repeated.

I’ll usually tell them we don’t take surveys, answer questions, or accept solicitations. The few exceptions are people selling candy and/or cookies. The wife and I are always open to sweets.

How about you?
How do you keep solicitors from bothering you?

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3 Comments so far

  1. aliecat on July 9th, 2009 @ 11:37 am

    Well, I live in an apartment, so salesmen are rare…

    BUT, my mom and I used to just hide in the spare room untill they left (Oh, wait, that was when the Jahovah’s Witnesses came by)…


  2. David (jacc) on July 9th, 2009 @ 1:26 pm

    @aliecat – I used to get in trouble for talking to the Jahovah’s when I was young.

    "Yeah, we love the Devil. You don’t think Satan is cool?"


  3. p1news on July 15th, 2009 @ 2:20 pm

    We actually offer a pretty cool looking "no soliciting" sticker. You can request one here http://bit.ly/DAVwa. Will try to share an image of it if I can figure that out! Hope this helps.



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