It’s a giant pumpkin. And when I say giant I mean so-giant-that-it’s-bordering-on-getting-a-new-religion kind of giant, like John Lennon. Or Lenin. Or Linen. Seriously, who hasn’t prayed for 1200 thread count sheets at some point or another? I digress.

As the Strib reports in In search of the Giant Pumpkin, a state record emerges

A science teacher from New London shattered the Minnesota record for giant pumpkins on Saturday. It registered a whopping 1,427.5 pounds at the 4th annual Giant Pumpkin Weigh-Off in downtown Stillwater. 

I, for one, welcome our new Great Pumpkin overlords. Matter of fact, I take partial responsibility. I like to believe the pumpkins I grow contribute energy to the spiritual harmonics of these peaceful squash. Metaphysical,I tell you.

Well, metaphysical, and a whole lot of fertilizer.

The stuff I use is organic.

Now I can’t decide whether I should post pictures of my personal pumpkin patch, make a video, or build an alter.

I mean, Did you see the size of that thing?

Big congratulations to Chad Reivier of Spicer, MN. I hope you like pie.