Archive for the ‘Sports’ Category

You don’t know Brett like I know Brett, by Brett Favre*

IMG_8220

Look at me.

I mean really get a good look at me.

Do you see the pony?

That is one pretty pretty pony.

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank the fans for hanging in there, my “coach” (Heh) for believing, my wife for always BeInG ThErE, and last but not least my pony, Sir neigh-neigh strides and rocks.

I’d also like to remind you I, Brette Favre, have the number one selling jersey in the NFL. Sure, I also have 4000 yards for the season, the win, and some momentum going into the post season. Just think about that, the number one selling jersey. That means if you went into a room where everyone was wearing a jersey purchased in 2009, chances are it’d be my jersey.

No really. Check out this comment by my buddy Handshake 28

Peterson shook his head as he recalled the mother of a high school friend approaching him after a recent game in Houston to ask him if he could get Favre to autograph a jersey for her.

“She’s never asked me for a jersey, ever,” Peterson said. “I was like, ‘All right. I’ll see what I can do.”

For real. I’ll tell you this much about Ol’ Handshake Peterson, he *does not* have the number one selling jersey.

Now check out this quote from me, Brett America*

Favre was also asked on Wednesday if he had considered acquiring one of these items for himself.

“I don’t think you can get any,” the quarterback

You see what I did there?

*I* can’t even get my own jersey.

See that? Damn. I’m good. Oh yeah. I think my #4 jersey is rubbing against my … mmmm.

Now where was I?

Nipples.

Oh yeah, did you really think someone named Eli was going to beat me?

My post game prediction
Vikings: 44
Giants: Pity sexting

Go Dallas!

You know what Sun-Tzu says in the Art of War “The best victory is when the opponent surrenders of its own accord before there are any actual hostilities…It is best to win without fighting.”

My other game prediction:
Dallas: Win Romo style
Eagles: Tears of brotherly love
ProBowl: No one wants to go this year, except for maybe the surf and turf.

SURF AND TURF!!!

(*Brett Favre satire probably not actually written by Brett Favre)

Game Day – Vikings vs. Bears

The Vikings have been stumbling with 2 horrible performances in their last three games. Top it off with some major changes in the last month: the loss of their Defensive heart and soul E.J. Henderson, a new coach, an offensive line that refuses to block for more than one-mississippi, and you have the recipe for a team preparing to quietly slide out of the season and point to their 11 or more wins as “progress”.

Did I mention those two losses were on National TV much like tonight’s Monday Night Football appearance.

Let’s hope they hit the brakes on that slide and here are a few key factors that need to met for tonight’s W.

1) Abandon the run – Sure Chicago is allowing 128.5 rushing yards per game, but the new coach prefers to pass. When faced with a defense that makes mean faces at the running back Coach Brett America becomes prone to audible into a incomplete pass. Word out of Winter Park is that the old coach Chilly the Meek still has some power over the play calling and he needs to adjust the gameplan to exclude all run plays. Or at the very least, recognize when the new coach is getting his ass handed to him compliments of the five fat men up front and call the occasional screen play. I wish I had some stats on how many screen plays we’ve called in the last three games, but I only remember two. So let’s say, not enough.

2) Defense – Our defense has to ramp up the intesity with every single game remaining in the season. An offense wins games, but a defense wins championships and they’ve been looking more chump than champ in the last month. Sure they’ve been playing a solid three quarters, but the last time I checked an NFL game actually contains 4 or more quarters.

3) Bribe the refs – It’s no secret the NFL refs are getting better and better at deciding which major market team who wins a game. It’s also no secret they are constantly angry at the NFL over their contract and pay, so I say let’s cut out the middle man and get them on payroll. Of course, tonight that could be costly as Chicago is known for it’s organized crime and chances are they have already made some payments. That is, if there were a mob, which there isn’t.

Reports are saying weather will play a factor in tonight’s game, but those reports are bogus and should be ignored. Also, some may lead you to believe the all is harmony and rainbows between Childress and Favre, lies. If anyone tries to tell you that in person you can legally kick them in the shin and push them over.

My prediction:
Vikings: Win
Bears: Lose
Monday Night Football: Music and Announcers suck eggs.

About Brett Favre, by Brett Favre*

Hello fans,

I know that recently there’s been a schism about whether or not I’m the coach of the Minnesota Vikings and I’m here to set the record straight, but first allow me to comment on some recent history.

When I was trying to make my decision about coming out of retirement and joining the Vikings there was much criticism about my waffling back and forth on the topic. Fans and foe alike were up in arms about my inability to make a decision and it kind of became a national joke.

Well joke no more.

I’m here to set the record straight. I’ve made up my mind and in fact yes I, Brett Favre, am now Head Coach of the Minnesota Vikings. Let’s be clear, it doesn’t stop there… I am Quarterback, captain, coach, my biggest fan and that is just the begining.

You see, as a young boy in Mississippi I had a dream about being an NFL quarterback, but once that dream was achieved I realized it has been done before. That’s when I knew I had to up my game and I became quarterback and captain of the team.

I guess it just snowballed after that, Marvel Comics made me the new Captain America, and I began singing in Captain and Tennille.

Hear me out Vikings fans only love will keep us together.

I quickly advanced from captain to coach. It started out innocently enough when I was the first stage coach to deliver mail and it grew quickly into having my own t.v. show Coach.

Can you blame a simple southern boy for now leading an empire of fashion as Coach of an elite team of handbags, shoes, and wrislets?

Yes, Minnesota fans, I am now the coach of the Minnesota Vikings.

Learn to love it.

I never really liked you anyway.

Love,
Supreme being, egoist, diva, omnipotent presence, regular guy, coach, and television sales man

Brett Favre

*Actual Favre satire probably not written by Favre

Game Day

Brett

(Photo Uploaded on July 21, 2008
by DavidErickson)

It’s game day and egads, did I really post a picture of Brett Favre?
There are some key things that need to happen for the Vikes to win today:
1) Ball Control: And I don’t just mean in the turnover department. I can’t stess how important it is to keep the ball out of Cincinatti’s hands. As a subset of ball control clock management, which has not been a strength of the Vikings over the last thousand years, needs to improve. Last week our defense lost their heart and soul with E.J.’s broken leg and ball control will keep them off the field, allowing them to be fresh and to regroup.

I’m looking to Brett Favre to answer for his lackluster Sunday Night outing. If Brett has a good day and leads by example it will provide the spark this explosive team needs gearing up for the playoffs.

2) Defense: Look I know I just said we need to keep them off the field, but the D will be on the field and they need to have a big day. Some young players need to step in the corner and middle linebacker positions or it could be a very long afternoon.

3) Special Teams: We had a breakdown last week. Let’s hope it was corrected.

4) Points: Follow me here because this is the most important aspect of the entire game, we need to score more points than they do. If for example they score 5, we need to score 6 or greater to win this game.
Only by scoring more points than our opponents will we be victorious and if we lead in points we want to keep them from scoring, especially if them scoring means they will have more points than us. That would be bad, let’s not let it happen.

My game day prediction:
Vikings: More points
Bengals: Less points

Go Vikings!

.

Too meta?

Meet the MIA: David E. Little

Meet David E. Little, it’s his job to look at photographs for MIA. So I thought I’d post his photo here on Metblogs, meta.

David E. Little
Curator and Head, Department of Photography and New Media
10 months at the MIA

Describe something interesting or unusual about your work here:
I find it unusual that I get paid to look at and think about pictures all day. Every day I look at photographs in the collection, in galleries, page through newspaper and magazines, and surf the web. My feeling is that the more pictures that I look at, the better chance I have of identifying pictures that are truly unique, complex and compelling. What other job can you look at magazines and surf the web to look at pictures and not get fired! I often tell my daughter as I leave the house, “Going to work to look at pictures.”

What was your first job:
My first job was in High School as a quahogger. I had a little fishing boat, a 90 horsepower mercury, and a thirty-foot quahog pole. Every morning about 6:00 a.m. I would leave out of a dock in Wickford, RI and motor up Narragansett Bay to my favorite spot under the Jamestown Bridge. The profits were mixed but boy was it fun. During the school year I worked retail! After college, I was a production editor for a University Press outside of Washington, D.C.

What’s hanging on your walls?
I have artwork by my children and a few photographs by artist friends.

If you weren’t a curator, what would you be?
If all options were available, I would say a pro golfer or basketball player. If reality set in, then I would be a professor or write fiction.

What was the first object you ever collected?
I collected baseball cards and autographs as a kid. My most treasured autograph is from Satchel Paige, the Negro league baseball star and Hall of Famer who is thought to be one of the greatest pitchers of all-time.

Don’t make him box your ears.

Photo: Dan Dennehy posted by Minneapolis Institute of Arts

The Enforcers

I went to the Wild game two nights ago and the Wild beat the Predators in overtime.

If you want to know why people fight in hockey, here’s the role of The Enforcer

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Check out the fight set Wild – Predators – 2009 – Hockey Fight, especially

this pic where the ref is smiling.

Vikings in the Morning

For reasons beyond my control, I was awake at 7am today (Sunday), and noticed that there are already people tailgating in the parking lot around the Metrodome. Tents set up, people donned in purple and gold, throwing footballs around…

Is this normal or just for the hardcore fans?
[poll=18]

Ready for some baseball?

IMG_1496Today was the unveiling of the new Twins jerseys at the IDS center. They pretty much look like the normal jerseys, just with some tweaking of the lettering. Not quite as unique as the new Wild ones, but once they hit the pro shops, I’ll be grabbing one!

To bring them out, they had Denard Span and Scott Baker. I’ve never actually had the chance to talk with Denard before, but he has to be one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met. He took the time for some chit-chat, pictures and autographs.

I felt a little bad for Scott Baker at one point. Through the crowd noise I denard spanheard (and I’m sure Scott did too) someone say “Hey, there’s moonshot Scott”. I’m sure he wishes he had a cooler nickname than one that refers to the amount of home runs he gives up (nickname #2–Baker the home run maker). I didn’t get a chance to talk with Scott Baker though, he was busy with dozens of people trying to get an autograph–and hat’s off to him, he took the time to sign everything people gave him. Glad to have both these guys represent the team and DEFINITLY looking forward to some baseball next Spring!

 

Sorry I didn’t get a shot of Scott Baker with the jersey (it got crowded around the stage at that time).

MSPTweetup Goes Cuban

 

Twitter is a wonderful way to meet new people and often times those people can become quite close in the Social Media realm but wouldn’t it be nice to meet those people in real life?  That is what MSPTweetup was organized to be, a regular event for Twitter folks in the Twin Cities to mix and mingle at a local establishment to put faces to usernames.

The Thursday, November 14th MSPTweetup was a big success, held at the Bulldog Northeast and sponsored by IZEA’s Sponsored Tweets there was a huge turnout enjoying the tater tots and conversation.

Planned by Kareem Ahmed & David Dellanave it was one of the largest MSPTweetups. And then it happened. The special surprise guest arrived.  Dallas Mavericks owner and twitterer Mark Cuban arrived at the MSPTweetup. 

Twitpic of @kazeemy & @mcuban @bulldogne #msptweetup

Twitpic of @kazeemy & @mcuban @bulldogne #msptweetup

Ahmed had met Cuban previously and had invited him via Twitter and Cuban, in town for the Mavericks vs Timberwolves game accepted and surprised everyone in attendance.
Unfortunately I had left the event just minutes earlier.  Had I been driving I would have turned around to go back but as I was already on the LRT home I could not. 
From the Twitter Stream of the event Mr. Cuban was very friendly discussing business with some, just shaking hands with others.
@snyd043 & @mcuban @bulldogne #msptweetup

@snyd043 & @mcuban @bulldogne #msptweetup

To have the opportunity to mix & mingle with Mark Cuban at the MSPTweetup was certainly an unexepected bonus of an already tremendous event.  How often do you get the chance to pick the brain of a billionaire entrepreneur over beer?
If you are interested in attending future Tweetups, follow @msptweetup on Twitter, or visit their website for more information.  You never know who may show up!

Welcome to the Mall of America Field

Vikings: MOA buys naming rights to Metrodome field

The Minnesota Vikings and the Mall of America announced Thursday that MOA has bought the naming rights for the field in at the Metrodome for the next three years.

The field will be called Mall of America Field, and MOA will brand the dome’s exterior and interior signage and other promotional materials. … The MOA naming rights begin on gameday between the Green Bay Packers and the Vikings, who host the Packers for Monday Night Football on Oct. 5.

Do you know what this place needs?

A nickname!

[poll=11]

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