Archive for the ‘Ranting’ Category

Talking Minnesotan – 5/21/10

1 of the 10,000 lakes
Image =”1 of the 10,000 lakes” Uploaded on May 18, 2010 by Venkat Raja

It’s been a fun week in Minnesota. People have been talking about the weather and that’s how Minnesotans know everything is right with the world. It just so happens that the weather this week was nice and sunny. Yup the talk was all nice, unless of course you happen to follow politics. Mn political conversations were … well… politics as usual. The Right hates the left and the left hates the Right and the newspaper commentors hate teachers and nurses hate hospital administration and hospital administration hates unions and the unions hate politicians and the politicians just keep smiling and talking about the wonderful progress they’ve made.

Mr.Veto likes to fill up prisons so he vetoed sensible bipartisan legislation that would change current laws to keep bongwater from being counted as drug weight. Citypages covers the story with Bong water bill dries up with Tim Pawlenty’s veto. You have to read the comments.

Pioneer press puts it all into perspective Time to face it, Minnesota: Tim Pawlenty is seeing someone else

He goes on long trips without explanation. He comes home and criticizes my appearance, even as he pays greater attention to his own image. Where there once was fondness and love, now all I get is, ‘Your taxes are too high! You’re spending too much! You have to cut back!’

As if the RNC convention wasn’t a big enough bust Minneapolis now wants to get itself a convention.
Bob Collins has a poll going and so far people seem to think it’s a good thing. Huh.

Speaking of Bob, he has this to say “I’m not sure what creeps me out more, that a 40 yr old was pretending to be a gay hockey teen. Or that ppl folo a blog by a gay hockey teen” about this story Minnesota gay teen hockey blogger outed as 40-year-old man.

I couldn’t agree more.

Did you see this? Last-minute lake rule looks fishy I almost gave the story it’s own post just to use a headline about “bait and switch”.

Anyway, what’s going on this weekend? Here is a nice music roundup. I’ll probably update the post with some happenings links as the day progresses, but for now I’m out of time. So let’s wrap it up with a little bit of Dessa. She released her new video today “Alibi”.

Jesse The Body laughs at Tea Baggers.

“Former Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura sounds off on Republicans, Democrats and the Tea Party”


Take your meme and shove it

I am so tired of the “10 things you need to stop tweeting about” meme, but you know what?, keep tweeting it.
Here’s the most recent itteration to fill my tweet stream, I think it’s supposed to be cute.

Hail it’s obvious virtues and revel in it’s moronic simplicity oh mighty decider of tweets. You’re probably the type that can get away with that type of thing, purely perfect you.

Not I, I am flawed. So I miss the brilliance of most of your tweets which I often consider mundane and unoriginal, but hey that’s just unperfect me talking. Best I can tell many of the people I follow break one or more of the 10 twitter rules you espouse on a regular basis. Yet I follow. Matter of fact I suspect that if I only allowed myself to follow those that tweet the profound or exactly what I am interested in at any given moment, then I wouldn’t be following anyone. I mean why bother?

Once again, that’s just little ol’ flawed me. I don’t have your perfect sense of judgement or your ability to pick the people to follow that will amuse and delight with each profound set of 140 characters or less. Heck, sometimes I even tweet about my kids. Sometimes it’s even a twitpic of one or both being cute. Quick get a time machine, take me back to Salem, and burn me as a witch!

Though, that does make me wonder why you follow me.

Most recently I’ve been seeing this big 10 no-no’s list retweeted by people that use Twitter to make money (presumably) either through a business or their social media expertise. Though, I can’t recall the last time I approached a bricks and mortar business and saw a sign that said “Don’t talk about these things in my store”, I’d probably walk away.

I guess that’s why I’ll probably never give you my money and believe it or not I actually spend money at the local businesses I follow.

Anyway, the next time you think someone shouldn’t be tweeting something there’s an easy solution just unfollow them. Problem solved. If you’re going to be a TweetNazi you’re way better off showing some spine than taking the passive aggressive who-can-do-what meme route.

Now before you jizz yourself with the potential irony of this post, yes I get it. Reread my first sentence I didn’t tell you to actually stop tweeting anything. I’m simply pointing out the glass house you live in and offering a little helpful advice, don’t tell me what to do. Remember, Twitter is social media which means it about life. A nice little 140 character zeitgeist delivery vehicle. I am of the opinion that it doesn’t matter how many followers you have, it’s about who you follow. Just like life, it’s not who you are it’s who you know.

Take my flawed post for what it is, just some words of advice. Hey have I told you I’m having a PB&J for lunch? Check my twitter stream I’m sure it’s there somewhere.



We are broke. (A song for the dumped)

Minnesota has ran out of money. I guess there’s no big suprise there as many states have ran out of money due to increased spending and lower amounts taken in by taxes due to the recession. (both sales taxes and payroll taxes are down)

The Strib reports State may force schools to lend it $1B

In a sign of the gravity of the state’s fiscal crisis, Minnesota budget officials may force public school districts to loan the state money so that it can continue paying its bills.

Gov. Tim Pawlenty’s administration could withhold nearly $1 billion in state aid payments to public schools through May, to ensure the state’s checkbook doesn’t run dry, under a plan unveiled Wednesday at a legislative committee meeting.

The state already has the legal authority to do so, although it has never exercised it.

The state has never exercised it’s right to do this, but now it’s under strong consideration. That is broke. I don’t know how many times it’s been considered, but I can’t recall any. My gut instinct tells me to go get some numbers and point out the insane spending policies that have dovetailed with the poor economy and brought us to the brink of bankruptcy, but prior posts have lead me to believe that numbers just get in the way. It seems the only number people are interested in is “more”. More money for police will stop crime! Hell, we almost have this drug war won. So let’s throw some more money for prisons. More money for trains! More money for planes! More money for automobiles! More money for stadiums! More money for everything!

Well, except for anything that helps people. We don’t want to be a welfare state, after all.

Meanwhile Minnesota Public Radio’s question of the day is “How could Minnesota schools get and keep the best teachers?” To which I respond

This is a false choice as Minnesota does have the best teachers. Our teachers can go anywhere and teach and are sought after across the country.

There are multiple issues here, one is that funding keeps getting cut and the first thing to be cut along with funding are the teachers,typically the youngest and most enthused about teaching.

So often, after years of trying to get a stable job teachers simply give up and switch professions which is, in part, responsible for the average career of a teacher being 3-5 years in Minnesota.

We don’t have a teacher talent issue in this state, we do have an administration problem. Administrators that work in a revolving door world where each new big boss decides to impliment some new teaching philosophy and by the time things start to roll a new Big Boss comes to town. Wash rinse and repeat.

We also have a problem with parents that have checked out on their children, but there’s no way the state can legislate a cure for that.

We also have a problem with NCLB.

Sure, there are a lot of problems with the Minnesota Eductional System, but teacher talent is not one of them.

*Note, I am not a teacher.

Suprise, suprise the predominant answer boils down to “pay teachers more money”

I guess if we paid teachers more money the state would have more money it could withhold in order to keep things running.

Is that a system we can all get behind?

Cynical much?

Here’s a little song for our hard working gov’t officials.

Vita.Mn 2010 Hotness Search

It’s time to vote in’s 2010 hotness search.

Full Disclosure: I should probably win.

No, really, this post isn’t about me pandering for your vote.

This post is about stopping the powers of evil from destroying the world. Look, I’m not going to come right out and say Jason DeRusha is actually the demon Hastur and if he wins the world will fall into an eternal darkness where all questions will be Good Questions.

Nopers I’m not going to say it, but just think about that for a minute.

“Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?”
“What is the best color in the rainbow?”
“Are you going to eat those fries?”
“What is heavier a pound of lead or a pound of feathers”
“Are those real?”
“Is it cold enough for ya?”
“Is it hot enough for ya?”

You get the picture.

Not to mention the certain appearance of the Abomination of Desolation.

Do you want to risk being the cause of end times? Do you?
Do I need your mom?

Now get over to Vita.Mn and vote, vote, vote.

Vote For Someone Now

You just might save the world.


March: Abstinence Month

No sexI officially declare March ABSTINENCE MONTH. Now I know cooped up Minnesotans with Cabin Fever will have a difficult time with that campaign, but there is a very good reason for it, by preventing copulation during march no other children will have to suffer the consequences of having Christmas/holiday birthdays.  As someone with a birthday two days before Christmas I know whereof I speak.

Everyone thinks you have such a memorable birthday when you are born around the holidays, but it is quite the contrary, it usually happens much like a scene from “Sixteen Candles” where so much is happening with the holidays your birthday is lost in the shuffle. As a child my mother did her very best to ensure a separate birthday for me but so many friends were already gone for holiday break I was lucky to get much of a party at all, especially as one of my best friends had a birthday just two days before mine.  No one is ever available to spend time on my birthday as they are either out of town, with family or stone cold broke from the holidays.

Then there are the presents.  As you get older you begin to adjust and deal with what is in reality a rip off, but as a child, you look forward to your birthday presents so when you get the infamous “joint” present, the Birthday/Christmas present, it is heartbreaking. And really, everyone is so broke from Christmas you inevitably get shafted for your Birthday. My sisters even went so far one year as to give me a skirt for my birthday and a jacket for Christmas, it was a suit purchased as one!  As an older and wiser adult, what a gift costs really doesn’t matter but so often birthdays are lost in the shuffle and discarded in holiday stress of friends and family members that there isn’t even any thought given to birthday presents either and without anyone being able to spend time with you either it is as if your birthday doesn’t really exist at all. Now as an aging woman, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but when I was younger, it was much harder to accept.

Then there is another problem with having a holiday birthday: when you really want to have decorations or cake in any kind of theme and you end up with everything in red or green and all your presents are in wrapped in Christmas paper and you always have a Christmas tree in all your birthday pictures. Not always what you want as a child.

So I hereby declare March abstinence month to save all the children who would otherwise be born anytime from just after Thanksgiving to just after New Year’s Day.  I know it will be springtime and you will be antsy but if you can’t be Abstinent, then at least practice the most safe sex possible. Do it for the kids people, one month, that’s all it takes to save a child from a lifetime of misery.  

If you happen to know someone with a birthday around the holidays here are some helpful hints:

  1. Never tack a birthday message on a Christmas card, send a separate Birthday card instead
  2. Never wrap a birthday present in Christmas/holiday themed paper or bags, always use birthday theme or other paper or wrapping, or better yet, use something reusable instead of wrapping.
  3. Never give a Birthday/Christmas present or say this present is for your Birthday & Christmas, always give two distinct presents (and separating one present into two doesn’t count.) It is the thought that counts so cost isn’t an issue but put time and thought into selecting two separate gifts.
  4. If you have a party make sure there is a Birthday cake that has nothing Christmas on it whatsoever & decorations are birthday appropriate.
  5. Do your best to spend time with your friend who has a Christmas birthday or arrange a party for your child as close to their birthday as possible, they will appreciate it
  6. Celebrate a half-birthday, after having everything happen all at once in a span of days, to have something to celebrate in the summertime would be most appreciated.

Shaver haven

wetshavingThere comes a time in about every guys life where they become set in their shaving. Sometimes it’s with an electric razor or sometimes it’s with a blade with 9 mini-blades. In any case, as technology advances, so do our methods. Very rarely do we go backwards in the process. However, going backwards can be the best thing ever. Case and point: 2 years ago I took up wetshaving. That’s right, one razor just like grandpa used to. Sure, to do it correctly, you need some good shaving cream, after shave balm and a badger hair brush. The problem is that this stuff isn’t exactly carried at Target. So in order to get it, you need to find it online or some specialty shop. Insert the Galleria in Edina. As I was Christmas shopping last week, I found that there are three superb stores that carry top notch stuff. Goodbye online shopping…..

Ampersand is a home decor-type store, but they also have a huge section of shaving products by Art of Shaving and Kiehls. On top of that, they also carry Molton Brown products.
Since when was there a L’occitane in the Galleria?? The only one I ever knew of was in the MOA. Anywho, they have some of the best aftershave balm out there–actually 3 very good kinds.
And then there’s Twill. From the outside looking in, it’s just a tailoring/suit/dress shirt shop. But in the back they carry Truefitt & Hill shaving products. Besides Geo F. Trumpers, this is the best brand out of London.
Since shaving products are easily available now, toss out those old disposables and take some time in good shaving. And remember: If your shaving cream comes out of a can like cheeze whiz, it’s probably not that good.

Build it and they will come?

Let’s say you’re a governement official and you need to raise some “revenue” for your county.

Where would “Hey let’s build more jails!” be on the list?

According to the Star Tribune article “Empty cells mean counties go begging

Some county boards built new jails as a way to make money; as crime dropped, that gamble didn’t pay off. ”

Minnesota counties have spent tens of millions of dollars building jail cells no one needs.

In the past five years, county boards have built modern jails that have added about 2,300 new beds to the state’s total, with more opening in the months to come. But they did so just as crime has plummeted, with 18,000 fewer arrests than five years ago.

The result is a fevered competition to help the jails pay for themselves by renting out empty beds for other counties’ inmates. One sheriff has even asked legislators to rewrite laws to allow him to make money from Wisconsin inmates.

No one claims to know exactly how bad the problem is. But it looks as if there are thousands of empty beds — the equivalent of all the combined space in the state’s 40 smallest jails.

Much of the building boom was sensible, preparing for future needs and replacing antiquated facilities. But some of it amounted to an entrepreneurial gamble that is starting to look ill-timed.

I realize that counties are paid a fee for housing inmates from other counties, but really, jails as a revenue builder? This is not only nonesense at it’s finest, but a sure measure of the police state mentality that has been gripping our country. Maybe it generates “revenue” for a county, but putting people in jail has great expense for our state, both financially and socially.

If you’d like to see how much of a cost justice is to Minnesota here is a nifty website that includes data up to 1998
County expenditures: sheriffs` office, corrections and public safety capital outlay
Here’s a sampling.

Expenditure type 1998
Sheriff’s office $228,807,070
Corrections $255,228,573
Public safety capital outlay $64,423,361
Total county expenditures $3,696,581,075

You are reading that correctly, over 3 billion dollars in 1998 for Total county expenditures.
A quick search of the cost of a single jail bed and all that goes along with is found that in 1999 it was a little over $14,000 per bed versus a national average of $10,000. I could not find more recent data. Note, in 1991 the total justice cost was approaching about 1 billion. In just over ten years these costs have tripled. Read the Office of Legislator Auditor report from 1991 Sentencing and Correctional Policy

Naturally the data has caveats, which lead one to believe the actual costs are far greater.

•All data pertains to Minnesota county expenditures for criminal justice activities, including those related to sheriff’s offices, corrections and public safety capital outlays.
•The data pertains only to county-level agencies and does not include expenditures by city entities within a county.
•Court and county attorney costs also are not represented in the data set. Expenditures associated with these functions are included under the “general government departments” heading and are not distinguishable from other noncriminal justice costs grouped in this category.
•The dollar amounts listed for each county reflect actual expenditures for the given year and have not been adjusted for inflation.
•Due to an accounting change in 1988, total county expenditures data for 1985 to 1987 does not include debt service payments. For this reason, comparisons among these years will result in distortions and should not be made.
•Caution should be exercised when comparing corrections expenditures. Some counties are missing data for this category because either they did not report or they characterized these expenditures differently in their budget.

I for one can’t wait for the Minnesota Tourism Board to release it’s next ad campaign “Explore Minnesota, get arrested, and fill our empty jail cells!”

What do you think?


About Brett Favre, by Brett Favre*

Hello fans,

I know that recently there’s been a schism about whether or not I’m the coach of the Minnesota Vikings and I’m here to set the record straight, but first allow me to comment on some recent history.

When I was trying to make my decision about coming out of retirement and joining the Vikings there was much criticism about my waffling back and forth on the topic. Fans and foe alike were up in arms about my inability to make a decision and it kind of became a national joke.

Well joke no more.

I’m here to set the record straight. I’ve made up my mind and in fact yes I, Brett Favre, am now Head Coach of the Minnesota Vikings. Let’s be clear, it doesn’t stop there… I am Quarterback, captain, coach, my biggest fan and that is just the begining.

You see, as a young boy in Mississippi I had a dream about being an NFL quarterback, but once that dream was achieved I realized it has been done before. That’s when I knew I had to up my game and I became quarterback and captain of the team.

I guess it just snowballed after that, Marvel Comics made me the new Captain America, and I began singing in Captain and Tennille.

Hear me out Vikings fans only love will keep us together.

I quickly advanced from captain to coach. It started out innocently enough when I was the first stage coach to deliver mail and it grew quickly into having my own t.v. show Coach.

Can you blame a simple southern boy for now leading an empire of fashion as Coach of an elite team of handbags, shoes, and wrislets?

Yes, Minnesota fans, I am now the coach of the Minnesota Vikings.

Learn to love it.

I never really liked you anyway.

Supreme being, egoist, diva, omnipotent presence, regular guy, coach, and television sales man

Brett Favre

*Actual Favre satire probably not written by Favre

Now that just makes no sense.

I’m sure you’ve heard about K.K.’s little rant:The perilous, slippery slope of gay marriage, which seems to have stalled at 445 comments against her insane logic.

So instead I”ll point you to this little nugget over joy over at Roadguy: What’s up with 35E? Don’t ask your GPS

Learn to Drive the Speed Limit as Posted
I-35 E, it gave nagivite feed Trap, 40 m.p.h.. been he pale wills weat pating natience office, that was turn no trave, it of somethis quietus makes, 40 m.p.h. good perhaps insolence of discove, I-35 E had those bodkin? Who worst and point. It comments. oppressor’s could fard that unworst as it was West 7th Stop Light himself might himself might, and sweath, the nagiving afteritive, it giving nating cowards of action is a weary life, that than fly to bear thing commenterit of regardelay.
posted by qajariaq

It starts out wonderfully with a meaningful title, but by the end I couldn’t help wonder if it was a joke.

Now comment away you nating cowards.


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