How’s this for a premise? Women are just as funny as men. (If we take the Dane Cook/Larry the Cable Guy model, I’d say they’re way, way funnier.) That’s why Dana Buchwald put together the Women Stand Up! Comedy Cabaret. This Saturday, the fourth season begins at the Bryant Lake Bowl.

The show is a true cabaret (Buchwald likes to call it a smorgasbord of comedy, but I prefer buffet; “smorgasbord” makes me think of Templeton). The performers range from aspiring 20-somethings to late night talk show veterans and they do everything: standup, improv, sketch comedy, and erotic novelty bluegrass.

Why boot the men? Buchwald says, “There are too few women in comedy, and that needs to change. Comedy is a very powerful medium; you can say things in comedy that you can’t say otherwise. Plus, women are every bit as funny and challenging as men, it’s that simple.” And don’t think that you’ll hear the same period joke for an hour and a half–or any at all. There is no Woman Comic monolith. Women comics run the gamut, just like women people.

Women Stand Up! runs the second Saturday of every other month (except November, but there will be a show on January 9) and each evening is totally unique, with different performers.

This weekend’s show is Saturday at 8:00 pm at the Bryant Lake Bowl. The show is $8 with a Fringe button, or $12-$15 (pay what you can). The performers this time around will be

The witty, divalicious chanteuse Diana Wilde

Veteran Improviser Jill Bernard performing her award-winning solo improv show “Drum Machine”

Roller Girl and Slam Poet Extraordinaire Cynthia French

Rising Star Stand-up Comedian Laura Thorne

Courtney McClean & The Dirty Curls performing erotic, comedic bluegrass

For days now I’ve been hearing “negative four, negative eight, negative twenty-five!” We do not let our state government operate on a budget deficit. It’s in our constitution. It’s time to get our act together and mandate, as One People United, that our state end these irresponsible temperature deficits!

RT Rybak

PRO: He’s the charming, handsome mayor of Minnesota’s largest city. The camera loves him and he loves the camera. He’s also the 35W Mayor.

CON: He can’t be tamed! He’s got traffic violations and a devil may care attitude. He comes off as kind of cocky. Kind of really cocky. And not in a Han Solo sort of way.

Chris Coleman

PRO: He’s the RNC Mayor.

CON: He’s the RNC Mayor.

Discuss.

Which begs the question: whoever wins, does he deserve it? My answer to that is a resounding HELL NO. No matter how transparent and legitimate the count, a margin of 225—out of three million—is not a mandate. It’s dumb luck. And that’s a fitting end to a race that was full of dumbness.

Do you agree?

*I’m sure the fellas over at The Uptake know.

This captures the essence of shitty, shitty winter driving. Yessir.

First, there are 68 Minnesota Statutes that contain the word “snow.”

Second, Minnesota Statute, Chapter 169.42, Subdivision 1 reads as follows:

No person shall throw, deposit, [etc.] any snow, ice, … upon any such street or highway.

In other words, it is a misdemeanor to allow snow and ice fly from your car and ruin my ability to see the road. Or even distract me. Or whatever.

So, it’s not only smart and polite to clean all the snow and ice off all parts of your car, it’s the law! The more you know.

Here are my three favorites:

Death Grip – How a percentage of drivers hold the wheel, panicking at the first flake and don’t stop until the last ice melts off Lake Minnetonka.

Traction – Frequently taken for granted, many drivers seem shocked to lose it during the first blizzard.

This is what I love about winter. This and being uncomfortably cold.

Like I said, we have two Christmas stations in the Twin Cities: KOOL 108 and LITE-FM. “Two stations?” you are likely asking right now. “Does that mean there is a difference between one and the other? You know, to justify having more than one?” Yes! There is!

One of these stations claims to be “the Twin Cities’ official Christmas station,” (I’m not sure who they paid off to get that designation) but I forget which. The other major distinction between the two is that KOOL 108 makes Christmas wishes come true. This is done by calling someone and telling them that KOOL 108 will pay for their family to have a real Christmas dinner this year or that they’ll pay for your mother’s minor surgery. It’s always a woman they help, too. Not sure why. All I know is that now when I hear “KOOL 108 wants to grant your Christmas wish” I immediately flip to LITE-FM, which then, half the time, results in me flipping either to KQ or the Current.

So, if those are the two differences, dear reader, then does that mean they are otherwise identical? Yes! It does!

Twice now (this year—you know, all three weeks we’ve had Christmas music) I have heard the exact same song playing at the exact same time on both stations. The first was the exact same instrumental version of “Sleigh Ride,” and I sort of chuckled because I like that song. The second was Elton John’s “Step into Christmas” (which starts out “Welcome to my Christmas song.” How polite!), which I flipped away from on KOOL 108 only to hear the exact same part on LITE-FM.

I really should bring my i-Pod back out to my car and just listen to that for my Christmas music fix.

**There is actually no such thing as “Good Christmas Music.” There is only Shitty Christmas Music You Would Never Otherwise Listen to, But You Grew Up With It So Therefore You Must Love It. LOVE IT.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, Esurance is an online cartoon insurance company. One of their selling points is that, since they operate entirely online, they use less paper and are therefore “Green.” They also plant trees.

The commercial I’m talking about features music from the Minneapolis-based musical group Cloud Cult. It’s basically just a Cloud Cult song over Esurance’s stylized animation. For thirty seconds! And it even says “Cloud Cult” at the bottom of the screen, with a URL to this website.

The connection is that they are both “Green.” Cloud Cult has:

- CDs made of recycled materials (no idea how this is done, but ok!)
- Gone on tour in a biodiesel tour bus
- Planted 1000 trees (not shown: the 10,000 trees they used to make a single box of toothpicks, ala Looney Toons.) (Just kidding.)

Esurace has done similar stuff, but who cares.

So, while I find insurance an admission that something might go wrong that I might not be able to handle myself–a sign of great weakness–I am nonetheless pleased that our local arts scene has nurtured such talent as to make it onto a national “I’ll bet you don’t crash your car” company’s radar. And onto the Tee Vee!