You don’t know Brett like I know Brett, by Brett Favre*

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Look at me.

I mean really get a good look at me.

Do you see the pony?

That is one pretty pretty pony.

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank the fans for hanging in there, my “coach” (Heh) for believing, my wife for always BeInG ThErE, and last but not least my pony, Sir neigh-neigh strides and rocks.

I’d also like to remind you I, Brette Favre, have the number one selling jersey in the NFL. Sure, I also have 4000 yards for the season, the win, and some momentum going into the post season. Just think about that, the number one selling jersey. That means if you went into a room where everyone was wearing a jersey purchased in 2009, chances are it’d be my jersey.

No really. Check out this comment by my buddy Handshake 28

Peterson shook his head as he recalled the mother of a high school friend approaching him after a recent game in Houston to ask him if he could get Favre to autograph a jersey for her.

“She’s never asked me for a jersey, ever,” Peterson said. “I was like, ‘All right. I’ll see what I can do.”

For real. I’ll tell you this much about Ol’ Handshake Peterson, he *does not* have the number one selling jersey.

Now check out this quote from me, Brett America*

Favre was also asked on Wednesday if he had considered acquiring one of these items for himself.

“I don’t think you can get any,” the quarterback

You see what I did there?

*I* can’t even get my own jersey.

See that? Damn. I’m good. Oh yeah. I think my #4 jersey is rubbing against my … mmmm.

Now where was I?

Nipples.

Oh yeah, did you really think someone named Eli was going to beat me?

My post game prediction
Vikings: 44
Giants: Pity sexting

Go Dallas!

You know what Sun-Tzu says in the Art of War “The best victory is when the opponent surrenders of its own accord before there are any actual hostilities…It is best to win without fighting.”

My other game prediction:
Dallas: Win Romo style
Eagles: Tears of brotherly love
ProBowl: No one wants to go this year, except for maybe the surf and turf.

SURF AND TURF!!!

(*Brett Favre satire probably not actually written by Brett Favre)

4 Comments so far

  1. yomamma (unregistered) on January 3rd, 2010 @ 3:32 pm

    your an idiot


  2. David (jacc) on January 3rd, 2010 @ 3:36 pm

    Hey Peyton, don’t you have a M&M commercial to shoot?


  3. SeanH (unregistered) on January 4th, 2010 @ 11:05 am

    He may be an idiot, but I bet he knows the difference between “your” and “you’re”.


  4. David (jacc) on January 4th, 2010 @ 11:09 am

    @Seanh – Don’t pick on Peyton, he’s had a rough week. With headlines like “Manning sits again Colts lose second straight in snowy Buffalo” and Eli losing, you just know they are going to lose their Oreos to Venus and Serena.



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