Sayonara, airport security line losers!

I am officially an expert at getting through airport security lines.

I empty my pockets (including cell phone and wallet minus driver’s license) immediately after parking my car at the MSP ramp. I don’t even put my belt on the morning – it goes straight into the carry on bag. All of my wires (mp3 player headphones, cell charger, laptop charger) are bundled and dispersed for easy discernment in the X-ray machine. Liquids are few and tiny in a small plastic bag.

Once in line, I untie my shoes, pop my laptop out of my briefcase and take off my suit coat. Then I wait patiently for idiot amateur travelers to figure out the simple-stupid procedure to get through security.

Inevitably, someone in front of me forgets to keep their boarding pass out, didn’t put their laptop in its own bin, didn’t realize you couldn’t bring a bottle of water through security (this happens almost every trip), didn’t put all liquids in their own plastic bag, forgets to take off shoes, forgets to take off belt and of course, is so flustered by the whole process they stress out, become exasperated at the poor TSA employees and slow up the line even further.

Well, good riddance you loser newbies.

Yesterday, MSP joined more than 24 other airports in testing a new security lane system that they (and I) hope is going to make the frequent business traveler’s life a lot easier in speeding through these checkpoints.

From the PiPress:

Self-selected security lanes for travelers, chosen by how well they think they know the security checkpoint routine, opened at MinneapolisSt. Paul International Airport’s larger Lindbergh Terminal Friday.

When the security checkpoint line was busy early Friday afternoon, Brandy Brant, a traveler from St. Louis, slipped into the “expert” lane. It’s one of three newly designated lanes among the terminal’s six security checkpoints; passengers also can opt for a “casual traveler” and “family” lane…Presumably, “experts” are frequent travelers familiar with the routine and requirements of the security system.

I’m super pumped to try this out. Now if only they could solve the problem of replenishing those plastic bins in a timely manner.

4 Comments so far

  1. Erica M (ericam) on May 17th, 2008 @ 9:45 am

    I was just reading about this, maybe a couple weeks ago, and was disappointed that MSP wasn’t on the list yet. But now we’re in! Yes!

    I’m not one of y’all business travelers, but I’m pretty sure I’ve got it down.

    I’m sure you’ll get on a plane before I do, Greg. Let me know how it goes.

  2. davep on May 18th, 2008 @ 7:54 am

    The only problem is that there’s nothing to stop you from going to whichever line you want (other than the scorn of your fellow passengers), and incompetent people don’t know they’re incompetent.

  3. Expert Traveler Airport Lines Coming to MSP | The Deets (pingback) on May 20th, 2008 @ 8:01 am

    […] Greg was all fired up over on Metblogs the other day about a plan to bring “Expert Traveler Lines” to MSP. As he explained via the PiPress, the plan is to provide separate lines for experienced travelers vs people who may take longer to navigate airport security. […]

  4. greg on May 20th, 2008 @ 9:42 am

    @davep I’m all for taking a quiz while waiting in line or being branded with a scarlet letter if one fails to remove shoes or a ballpoint pen before proceeding through the scanner.

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