There have been a couple things going on around school down at the ol’ State Capitol.

First, they’re in the process of trying to raise the legal high school drop out age from 16 to 18. Now, I don’t have any statistics in front of me about how effective the law is in deterring dropouts, but it seems to me that any of the following would work better:

1) Funding after school programs
2) Smaller class sizes
3) Smaller school sizes
4) Better funded/expanded curriculum choices
5) Performances measures not based on standardized tests
6) Hotter, looser teachers

So yes. Let’s ignore the difficult root causes and make the symptom illegal. Up next: it’s illegal to get talk about condoms. That’ll get those teens to stop doin’ it.

Yep. The legislature is hearing about why talking about sex in school is how kids get clued into the fact that boy part fits into girl part quite nicely (I’m turned on just by that phrasing alone!). So, no talking about condoms or STDs or how, if God didn’t want women to masturbate, why do they have an orgasm button? Again, if we outlaw the symptom, the problem will fix itself.

The award for Best Quote Ever on abstinence-only-until-marriage sex education goes to Rick Olseen:

The back-and-forth exasperated one proponent, who told Prichard to get his “head out of the sand” and realize people aren’t getting married until they’re in their 30s these days.

“I wish you would come at this with a little bit of reality,” said Sen. Rick Olseen, DFL-Harris. “If you don’t want people to have sex until they’re 35 or 40, just say so.”

Also, I’m sure by “sand” he meant “ass”

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