My Yearly Dose of Homophobia
My girlfriend and I had two gift certificates to View, so we went out for a nice Sunday evening dinner. Ate on the patio, enjoyed our meal, and decided that a post-dinner walk around Lake Calhoun was in order.
The weather was lovely (okay, maybe a tad hot), and surprisingly it wasn’t terribly crowded. I’d thought for sure with the long weekend that people would be out and about, but I suppose the hot scoping action takes place during the afternoon and not so much at 7:00 in the evening.
We’re coming around the south side of the lake, right where you cut over to Lake Harriet. I’m enjoying my surroundings, enjoying my girlfriend’s company as we walk hand-in-hand, and generally thinking about how great life is. Think soft focus and clouds and birds tweeting and cheesy music. The whole 9 yards.
And then I hear “Y’ALL CUT THAT SHIT OUT!”
*record scratch*
I turned my head towards the road. A big black guy driving a light blue Chrysler Crossfire is looking right at us. He yelled again, “EH, Y’ALL CUT THAT SHIT OUT!”
Dude was so disturbed by the sight of two women holding hands that he slowed down his car (and traffic behind him) and screamed at us.
I flipped him off and yelled out a half-hearted “fuck you” and we kept on walking.
My girlfriend was pretty unaffected by it. But I was surprised to find that it bothered me quite a bit. I know, I know, I can’t judge everyone by the actions of one person. In the grand scheme of things, my life is relatively unaffected by this particular incident. We weren’t in any danger. We weren’t compelled to modify our behavior. It didn’t ruin my evening by any means. But it was a nasty reminder that for as progressive and welcoming as one might think the Twin Cities is, it’s not always that way.
It’s almost the same as how visiting pretty much any other metropolitan area and seeing much more diverse populations reminds me how white it is here. You get in your comfortable spot and you forget.
I somewhat regret that I didn’t take more action. I don’t know what I would have done, but I had visions of approaching his car and (getting his license plate number so I could blog it and) asking him why he felt a need to do that.
Maybe I’m more disturbed that someone is so filled with hate that they go beyond thinking the nasty thought and feel the need to share it. I often think that people ought to know by now to keep their mouths shut about certain things, but keeping that sort of racism/sexism/homophobia/etc hidden is worse.
Anyway. I’ve now had my fill of bigotry for a while. Thanks, random dude at Lake Calhoun, for being That Guy.
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“Y’ALL”? Maybe he’s not from around here … like from down South or something. It must be like a reverse freedom riders thing, spreading hate across the land.
Ick. So many intolerant and abusive idiots out there.
That Guy needs to get some Dish TV and come out from under his hole.
I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t let it get you down. He’s clearly a huge douchebag with major sexual hangups that probably thinks about boys when he jerks off. (He can judge, I can judge.)
Also, you’ve got class on your side.
Once a year? That’s not so bad.
Also, you’ve got class on your side. — Seems folks around here don’t think that’s so much the case lately, but thanks.
Once a year? That’s not so bad. — I’d say that’s once a year too often. But thanks for marginalizing.
No, thank YOU for marginalizing those who fought against homophobia in the past and suffered much worse than catcalls.
I wouldn’t take all that stuff personally. Perhaps it’s the fact that summer is coming to an end or because Minnesota seems to be dealing with one shitty event after another and we’re all feeling defeated. Maybe there’s no outside explanation and everyone’s just decided to be all puckered sphincter about stuff. Who knows. I still love you!!
No, thank YOU for marginalizing those who fought against homophobia in the past and suffered much worse than catcalls.
I don’t follow.
Maybe he was jus’ jeals that he wasn’t the meat in the middle of that sandwich…I kid…
I’m always surprised by homophobia, like, what difference does it make who you’re sleeping with?
Anyway, sorry that happened to you…
God, that sucks. Much as I love the TC, we definitely have our share of idiots.
I don’t care if it was a catcall, it’s still not right and I’m glad you called attention to it, Erica. Here’s to hoping karma will take care of the guy;)
Maybe you could allege hate speech. Also, in Minnesota, a license plate and a couple of dollars will get you a name and an address.
I feel that people that are that uncomfortable with other people’s sexuality are truly not comfortable with their own.
How I think about it: people that have this problem sometimes hold that discomfort within themselves. For some people it comes out as feeling a need to yell at a couple lesbians holding hands in Minneapolis. In some cases it comes out dysfunctional or repressed sexual activity as displayed by some stories of elected officials in the last couple years.
Every time I see someone say something homophobic like that makes me wonder if that person is actually comfortable with their own sexuality regardless if they are hetrosexual or not.
My guy and I hold hands all the time. Around all of Lake Calhoun, in the burbs, in the theatre, etc etc.
His opinion: people need to see it and be reminded. And I agree. We are not flaunty or in your face, just like to be close and hold onto one another.
I can promise you guys, being gay here is a cake walk compared to, oh, let say … the entire south! (I grew up in that part of the country, so its ok if I say it :-> — oh, and ewww, I have zero intention of ever living there again)
In some cases it comes out dysfunctional or repressed sexual activity as displayed by some stories of elected officials in the last couple years.
That guy sounds totally ready for public office.
Aaron said it much more eloquently than I did, but that was basically my point. Leave it to Aaron to be all, like, grown up and stuff.
His opinion: people need to see it and be reminded. And I agree. We are not flaunty or in your face, just like to be close and hold onto one another.
That’s my philosophy as well.
Erica, maybe you misread what he meant. Maybe he’s perfectly OK with lesbians, but just can’t stand inter-racial couples? ;-)
I live not that many blocks from where that incident took place. You can rest assured that most residents of the area are accepting. But the city lakes attract large crowds that include many from less areas that are much less open-minded. And, whether I agree with their biases or not, the city lakes belong to them just as much as to me and you, so I try not to think things like: “Gee, it sure would be nice if people like them wouldn’t come around here.”
(Once you move out to the burbs, try holding hands together at the food court in Eden Prairie Center, and then report back on what sorts of reactions you get there.)
Maybe he’s perfectly OK with lesbians, but just can’t stand inter-racial couples?
Heh!
You can rest assured that most residents of the area are accepting.
I know. Which is maybe why this stood out to me so much.
Man. It never dawned on me that it might have been an interracial issue. Shit. …and Chris_, that’s a fantastic link you shared.
had to come over here b/c the link at your blog wouldn’t run the whole incident. i’m mostly just glad y’all weren’t in any physical danger. And yes i said “y’all” and yes i’m from the south. i’ll be in the mn sept 25-27th or something like that. holla!
ick. I’m not sure I understand why people have to hoist their opinions on the rest of the world. you are entitled to think whatever you want — but it’s really unnecessary/childish/douchebag-esque to verbally vomit it all over you and your SO.
In other news, hullo! I hold hands with my female friends, and I’m happily (heterosexually)ensconsed. I mean, I don’t really want to see anyone getting to 3rd base walking around the lake — but obviously that wasn’t what you were doing. And just because you are holding hands with someone of the same sex (or different color)… grr. Whatever, closed-minded douchebag guy.