The Skeptical Diner: The Wilde Roast Cafe
After months of dilley-dallying, my fiance and I finally got out to Hennepin Avenue’s most celebrated restaurant named after a gay literary superstar: The Wilde Roast Cafe.
The restaurant’s something of a local institution, and its atmosphere is exactly the right combination of fusty and chic. It feels like a paradoxically hip antique shop with staffers who happen to serve food when not too busy spinning tracks by Sarah Vaughn and Ella Fitzgerald.
But looks can be deceiving.
An upmarket breakfast menu is more than a bill of fare; it’s a promise. With high prices, lengthy descriptions, innovative and/or surprising gourmet ingredients, etc., the menu establishes certain expectations.
And when you order an Eggs Benedict, you’re calling a restaurant’s bluff. You’re saying: “OK, I’ll pay $10 for some eggs on bread. Now, I expect you to deliver something tasty, subtle, impeccable and comforting. Bring it, chef!”
In other words, to paraphrase Oscar Wilde himself, “Breakfast, like art, means drawing a line someplace.” I draw that line at the Eggs Benedict.
However, when you order an Oscar Benedict at The Wilde Roast, you receive two over-salted poached eggs on toast rounds. And they arrive covered in a salsa-style topping that would be far more appropriate as sauce for a Home Ec pizza than a complement for a breakfast dish sporting a double-digit price.
The whole thing, in fact, was bad enough to be mostly inedible. You can add seasoning to a bland dish, but when you get a combination of salt, dryness and tacky tomato flavor, the only thing to do is give up and pick up some puppy dog tails on the way home.
This isn’t to say that there aren’t valid reasons for messing with regulation Eggs Benedict (which Barbette, among other places, serves with conviction.) Hell’s Kitchen often riffs off the classic incarnation with positive or even inspired results.
But the substitutions of serrano ham (which feels limp and insubstantial under the attack of the killer tomato sauce) and manchego cheese (which also surrenders to the chaotic mess that surrounds it) aren’t merely bad, they’re confusing. What was the original chef trying to accomplish? It’s obvious what was sacrificed, but what did he or she intend to gain?
Fingerling potatoes served on the side tasted gritty and oily, and my fiance’s dish (the Skillet Oscar) was decent… but not as satisfying as its equivalent over at The Egg & I. And roughly twice as expensive.
It’s entirely possibly that Wilde Roast does a solid sweet breakfast, but after the savory catastrophe experienced this morning, I’ll have to be prodded by a serious epicure before I give them another shot.
All that said, the coffee was pretty good.
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I’ve never had breakfast at Wilde Roast, so I can’t comment on it. I have, however, had a couple food items that were good enough to merit notice.
Item 1. The crab cakes. These are not low budget items, but they are worth the money. They are more crab than cake, with the other fillings playing their roles, adding texture and flavor.
Item 2. The yogurt and fruit parfait. Reasonably priced, flavorful and refreshing.
I’ve also had several sweets like cake and cookies that were good, but none have stood out in my memory like the crab cakes and parfait.
I’ve never had breakfast there, either. I’ve had a couple different pizzas that I liked.
Mmmm… crab cakes.
I’ll also add that I’ve never been wowed by anything I’ve had there. I go mostly for the atmosphere and to play on my computer.
I, too, haven’t been there for breakfast. I have had the crab cakes (very good!), and a few of the pizzas (also good!). Nice vibe, too.