You know you’re Minnesotan…

A little Jeff Foxworthy-style winter Minnesota humor for a Friday. These are great little bits that–yes– were forwarded via e-mail to me at work. But they’re pretty dead on. The e-mail claimed Mr. Foxworthy spawned these himself, but who really knows? (if you have the expertise to answer that question – please do!!)

You know you’re Minnesotan…

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by.

If you’re proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation.

If you have ever refused to buy something because it’s “too spendy.”

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March,

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don’t work there,

If your dad’s suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead,

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time,

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,

If you know how to say… Wayzata … Mahtomedi …. Cloquet… Edina… and Shakopee,

If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy,

If vacation means going “up north” for the weekend,

If you measure distance in hours,

If you know several people who have hit deer more than once,

If you often switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day… and back again,

If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching,

If you see people wearing hunting clothes at social events,

If you install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked,

If you think of the major food groups as beer, fish and Venison,

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them,

If there are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill’s Fleet Farm at any given time,

If you design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow,

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction,

If you can identify a southern or eastern accent,

If your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce,

If down South to you means Iowa,

If a brat is something you eat,

If you find 0 degrees “a little chilly.”

2 Comments so far

  1. Mist 1 (unregistered) on December 15th, 2006 @ 9:27 pm

    I almost forgot that Dairy Queen closes there. I think I’ll go have a Blizard now.


  2. DaveP (unregistered) on December 16th, 2006 @ 9:16 am

    The one by work closes October to April. Sigh.



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