Ambushed at Subway
It happened again today at the Gavidae Common’s Subway and has happened often enough in the past that I’m convinced it’s a conspiracy. The guy in front of me in Subway waited through the whole line until the “sandwich artist” behind the sneeze guard asked him for his bread selection. He waited until the last possible moment to pull out. . . The List.
You know The List. Heck, you may have been the bearer of The List on occassion (we all lose the occasional bet). The List is the detailed instructions for sandwich creation spelled out to the letter by every one of their coworkers on a crumpled piece of copier paper. Responsible carriers of The List have it out in plain sight, choose a slower time at the store and otherwise recognize that they are, themselves, a long line and try to make the impact as little as possible.
Not this guy. Not only did he conceal The List from those of us behind him, he had 16 sandwiches on The List and managed to read 2 of them incorrectly, forcing them to be remade. Now, if I’d come up to Subway and seen a line with 18 more people in it than I saw, I probably would have moved on to get my lunch. That’s why the ambush irritates me so much. You can’t see it coming until it’s too late.
So, coworkers of the guy with The List, I hope you enjoyed your lunch. Especially the picky one. You know who you are. I mean, come on, exactly 9 olives? If you’re going to do that, at least have the guts to do it in person
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Holly crap balls!! I know exactly what you mean. I never wanted to be a stealth assassin more than when someone with the list happened to be in front of me. It always seems to happen when you are in a hurry, too.
And it seems to be a Subway-specific problem. I eat subs for lunch a lot at Jimmy John’s, Potbelly, Quizno’s, etc. and *none* of them seem to invite this.
When you combine them with the people who seem to have never been in the *single most popular fast food franchise on EARTH* and are confused by how to order, that place can really inspire assasin aspiration.
I once asked a Lister how many sandwiches he planned to order, because I was on a schedule and couldn’t be late getting back to work.
He had 8 sandwiches on The List.
I told him that I only had 30 minutes to get lunch and return to work, and paused for his reaction. Fellow line-mates also remarked they too were in a hurry.
The Lister moved to the back of the line.