I’m gonna steal Nate’s thunder and announce the debut of the 33rd Metroblog city: Detroit!

That’s my hometown, you see. While I would never (ever) move back there, I have much love for it. One of the first things that jumped out at me while browsing their site: a photo of the Uniroyal Tire. Ah, the memories.

Welcome to Metroblogging, Detroit!

I really hate Minnesota drivers. Really, I do.

Technically, I’m also a Minnesota driver, but I mostly avoid the typical driving quirks you find in and around the Twin Cities. I have an ever-growing list of things that annoy me about the drivers around here, such as:

1. Being timid - if you are going to change lanes, just DO it. Don’t linger between lanes while you wait for inspiration.

2. Inconsistent speeds - this one is especially bad on our highways. Speed up, slow down, speed up, slow down. Pick a speed and stick with it.

3. Learn to merge - Merging is not yielding; it’s merging. You’re supposed to flow into and, y’know, merge into traffic. Coming to a complete stop when you’re supposed to merge is dangerous and stupid.

4. 4-way stops are not tea parties - Everyone wants to let someone else go first, bringing everyone to a halt. Once some brave soul establishes a little order, then folks do okay, as long as no one makes a left turn. Chaos ensues if that happens.

5. Unnatural fear of the horn - I use my horn. I use it to let people know they are drifting into my lane, or to chastise them for cutting me off. I am the only driver I know who uses the horn as it’s intended. When I drive out East, people use their horns, and it warms my cold little heart. People around here think you’re the antichrist if you use your horn. They get a horrified look on their face. How dare I call attention to their attempted lane-change into my car! That’s just not nice.

The list goes on. Perhaps I need to make this a weekly installment of the stupid driver behavior I’ve witnessed.

Sunday, late morning, I went running at Lake Calhoun. I didn’t know there was an Aquatennial thing planned, so I was surprised to find a huge crowd on the southwest side of the lake. I mean, I wouldn’t have been surprised for it to be crowded, just not that crowded.

So I was reminded that I generally hate going to Lake Calhoun on weekends, or on weekday evenings because it is always crowded. I know walkers have as much a right to the path as runners do, and I know bikers and rollerbladers aren’t thrilled to have walkers on their path, but there is only so much room. Throw in people that don’t do their part to keep the traffic flowing and you might as well forget making any progress if you’re in any kind of hurry.

I was relating all this to a friend, and she told me that I should have remembered that people don’t go to Lake Calhoun to get their workout on. They go there to see and be seen. It’s all about the people-watching. It’s all about watching people watch you.

I said I’d rather stick to Lake of the Isles. But upon further reflection, I thought maybe I just need to manage my expectations better. I think I’m worth checking out (although I probably looked like I was about to die on Sunday because the humidity was killer and the mass quantities of people were just pissing me off).

So I should pick a day when I don’t need to do a real serious workout and cruise around the lake then. I should definitely rollerblade or walk, not run. Or maybe just get a little sweaty, then walk in my running gear, because it’s a little hoochie to walk around in revealing workout gear if you’re not actually working out. Maybe carry a water bottle. Definitely have sunglasses on. Does it look like I’m not purposely there to be checked out if my outfit doesn’t quite match?

Am I way off base here? Why do you go to Lake Calhoun?

You know how when you go to the grocery store, your receipt has a bunch of coupons from nearby businesses printed on the back? There’s some good stuff on there!

My receipt from Uptown Rainbow routinely sports an Autopia coupon. $19.99 for an oil change or 25% off labor. My experience with Autopia has been pretty good. Their customer service is excellent. I suspect, however, they’re a little pricier than some other places in town. So I’m hoarding these coupons.

Other good ones: $2 off any used item at CD Warehouse. $1 off each for the lunch or dinner buffet or 10% off takeout orders at Old China Buffet. The Cub Foods I used to go to when I lived in Plymouth always had Quiznos coupons on theirs.

Coupons I did not keep: $3 off a $23 car wash at Dan’s Nicollet Car Wash. 2 DVDs for $8.99 at Hy’s pawn shop. 25% off any non-sale item at Tatters.

Flip that receipt over before you toss it in the garbage. There might be something useful on it.

Last night I had the priveledge to go see “Lettice and Lovage” at Jeune Lune. I have to say that it was one of the most delightful plays I have seen in a long time. It is a great, broad, English comedy about two older women who are opposite in character that become friends. It was worth every penny of the $23.50 I paid to go see it. The sets are fantastic, the acting is way above par, and I laughed a lot to boot. It only has one more weekend left of it’s run so please go to Jeune Lune’s Website to find showtimes. They didn’t win the 2005 Tony award for nothing…

That’s right!! There have been two more cities added to the Metroblogging community. Please go check out Phoenix and Birmingham (in England, not our great southern state). Please check out their sites and post comments so they no someone is listening :)

Mr. Huge Storm That Even Downed a Huge Branch in Our Yard made canoeing an impossibility (luckily I realized this before setting out, or I’d have been on the lake when the storm hit). Instead, We drove over to Stillwater. Lumberjack Days is going on, and it’s a good time.

After all, it’s where I found heaven: Tremblay’s, in downtown Stillwater.

Let me tell you: I am extremely picky about candy. The vast majority of it is gross to me in some way. I like my chocolate imported and very dark. I like my sweets flavorful, not too sweet, and with a texture appropriate to their form (e.g., gummi bears that are chewy but don’t stick in one’s teeth, ju-jubes that DO stick in one’s teeth but are not hard). I was nervous about the saltwater taffy I picked out, since I’ve been burned on salt water taffy before. It’s not that it’s unedible but it certainly doesn’t make one chow down. This is entirely different. The flavor is strong enough to last throughout the whole chew, which is substantial. It’s gooey and sticky, but not in a way that sticks in your teeth. And it is the first saltwater taffy I’ve tried that is salty, and it makes a world of difference. And the chocolates! Matthew had a chocolate-dipped strawberry, which was by all accounts, delicious. We each took a turtle for later; good thing we didn’t try it then, or we’d have bought out the whole store. It was perfection. Not too sweet (my candy pet peeve), creamy caramel that wasn’t too soft, tons of toasted pecans and just the right amount of chocolate on top.

It must’ve made an impression; look at the size of that paragraph!

I hate 89.3 The Current.

Not once have I flipped to that station and recognized the song playing. I’m just not an indie rocker like the cool kids.

There. I said it.

I like to go canoeing, if by that you mean getting into a rental and letting a river push you downstream. That’s the only way I’ve been canoeing, and that was years ago, and only a few times.

Instead of sitting beneath a blissful breeze of conditioned air tomorrow, I’m going to find a decent spot to canoe, and by golly, I’m going to do it. This time, it’ll be in a lake, because I figured this out about rivers: they just keep going. With my on-river navigational skills (I spent 20 years of my life on the Mississippi, and I never got the hang of having any clue where I was while on the water), we’d be in the Gulf of Mexico before I had any clue what was going on.

Fort Snelling State Park is going to be the destination, chosen both for its proximity to other stuff I want to do tomorrow and because in the seven years I’ve lived in the area, I’ve never been to Fort Snelling. While doing a litle research, I found this page, which is oddly fascinating.

About the Mississippi from Anoka to Fort Snelling, for example:

This segment of the Mississippi requires some paddling skills in order to avoid snags, sweepers, and boulders. The rapids are all Class I or riffles. Motor boats and barges often throw large wakes that can swamp unsuspecting canoeists. These wakes should not be taken broadside. Because the river is so wide, the current can be deceptively swift. Use caution in approaching the shore. Paddlers should watch for dams and know which side to portage or lock through. Stay close to shore as you prepare to enter or exit a lock. Do not cross the river directly above dams.

Wish me luck, either to avoid drowning or a nasty sunburn.

I’m trying to figure out how this City Pages-sponsored event sounds like fun.

Singles Booze Cruise - ALL ABOARD!!

Grab your Captain’s hat, life preserver and best pick up line for our 3rd Annual Singles Booze Cruise! Join City Pages and Pablo from 93X on Lake Minnetonka aboard the Queen of Excelsior.

Enjoy free appetizers, drink specials, fun mixer games, psychic readings from Ruth Lordan, tons of prizes and oodles of cool singles to meet!

I’ve heard stories about how hard it is to meet people in this town. Especially if you’re not from here, and you’re surrounded by people who are from here and still hang out with all their high school friends. But I would really like to know who attends these things. Do you just sign up with your friends so you can get the food and drinks and stuff, and not worry so much about meeting people?

I thought for about five minutes as I drove past the Uptown Drink last night long and hard if I find this concept abhorrent just because I’m gay and it’s for straight people. Would I go on a singles booze cruise for lesbians?

Maybe on a dare.

But, having never done such a thing, my opinion is uninformed. So maybe there’s something I’m missing. Anybody done something similar? Is it worth it?