Suburbanite once again

I grew up in Wisconsin, in a small town on the Mississippi River. Like many before and during and after me, I dreamt dreams bigger than the village that held me. “Ah, the big city!” I thought. “Certainly, I will be at home there.” Needless to say, as soon as possible, I hightailed it for the bright lights.

The Twin Cities area is the first major metropolitan area I’ve lived in. I started out in Bloomington, moved to a house in Richfield, got an apartment in Minneapolis’ Whittier neighborhood, and have now relocated to Robbinsdale.

The thing that I have found is that I hate the city. It’s like staying in a hotel with really great amenities (including conditioner and hand lotion and a tiny fridge and free gourmet continental breakfast in the lobby!), but with paper-thin walls, kids running and screaming in the halls, and the danger of getting killed by errant cars or bikes* anytime you venture out of your room. And, of course, it’ll take you 10 minutes to get to the elevator.

We’re (as in myself and my fiance) are still in the process of moving out of our apartment; today should be the last day of cleaning and primping. Before yesterday, I had been in the relative quiet of suburbia for three weeks straight. Already I experience culture shock when returning to the city. There’s more graffiti in my old neighborhood than ever (seriously, isn’t it just plain rude to cover a new, pretty overpass with crappy graffiti? At least use the artful stuff!), and the bike riders were out in full force, as were the pedestrians who can’t be bothered with things like “don’t walk” signs. (I love it when those people are pushing strollers. Is this supposed to be a survival-of-the-fittest thing? Cause then maybe I shouldn’t have paused.)

Oh, and although there was parking (it being Saturday morning and all), my fellow parkers parked so close to me that one of ’em got hit. Sorry, bro, but next time you might want to leave me an INCH.

I love Minneapolis as a town and its things to do, restaurants that feed me, and the people-watching, but, man, do I enjoy having a permanently reserved parking spot, no more crowds, and peace and quiet even more.

*Seriously, bikers. If you don’t want cars to hate and/or hit you, you could try obeying the rules of the road. If cars were driven how bikes are, it would be mayhem. Bloody, dangerous mayhem. It’s written in the law, folks (you remember, that stuff you seem to be above?). If you’re riding your bike on the street, you must follow the rules of the road. I can only hope that the newfangled red light system is catching all the bikers who run red lights as a rule.

4 Comments so far

  1. Dave (unregistered) on July 19th, 2005 @ 3:08 pm

    It’s too bad to hear you dislike it here. I know so many people that love it. I hate the suburbs too. Move downtown.

  2. soelo (unregistered) on July 20th, 2005 @ 10:32 am

    It sounds like you have a problem living in an apartment building and should find a house. I’ve lived in 3 different apartment buildings in the ‘burbs and they all had more loud kids and traffic than the 3 Minneapolis buildings I have lived in.

  3. Lex (unregistered) on July 20th, 2005 @ 1:08 pm

    I specifically moved *away* from the suburbs and got a condo in the city to escape the isolation and platic sameness of the ‘burbs. In a way, we’re keeping the equilibrium – it’s a good trade, don’t you think? =)

  4. John (unregistered) on September 18th, 2005 @ 2:05 pm

    WAAAH…Bikes are in my way….BOOHOO.
    Imagine how the bicyclists and pedestrians feel when your big indulgent hunk of steel comes barreling at them at 40 mph. Mother Nature hates the over-dependence of the automobile as much as you hate bicyclists.

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